What Forgiveness Looks Like

We were thinking yesterday about the disappointment that can result when we discover a Bible teacher we admired was wrong about something, big or small. The scriptural remedy is not to expect perfection from men, to “pay much closer attention to what we have heard, lest we drift away from it” and, for our own part, to “Do [our] best to present [ourselves] to God as one approved … rightly handling the word of truth.”

Problems of Bible interpretation come up regularly, and they should not discourage us if we understand that the scripture anticipates them. The bigger problem is not interpreting the Bible. It’s living it out.

When the error committed by a man in church leadership involves moral conduct in his personal life rather than the much more commonplace misinterpretation of scripture, the effects stand to be longer lasting, and Christians are often divided as to how to proceed in dealing with him, other than to get as far away as possible.

Let’s take a concrete example that came up last week when a friend sent me a text linking me to a disgraced former pastor’s personal blog.

Allegations and Confessions

Former Toronto megachurch pastor Timothy Cavey (better known as Bruxy) doesn’t come across as pretending to be anything he isn’t. He introduces his new blog “ministry” with confessional statements like these: “I am trying to rebuild what I have broken and repent of what I have done wrong, while also defending myself against accusations of things I have not done” (Cavey was arrested and charged with sexual assault in June 2022), as well as, “I’m a mess. But I’m God’s beloved mess, forgiven and free.” The latter is one of the few succinct statements in any of Cavey’s blog posts, which tend to ramble interminably.

Cavey faces multiple allegations covering a period of years, one of which supposedly involved an underage victim. Wikipedia documents them here, we hope with some degree of accuracy, and the stories of his accusers made the pages of The Toronto Star. Two new counts of sexual assault were added in December 2023. Cavey disputes some of the accusations while confessing the truth of others. As the most recent assault charges were being filed, Cavey was writing this in a blog post about lust:

“I confess that I have committed adultery. And according to Jesus, I am also a murderer (see our last study), and a hypocrite, and a host of other things.

I am currently in a season of life when I am defending my legal innocence while wanting to focus on confession and repentance of my moral guilt. I am grateful for this space and the small churches who I get to meet with where I can focus on confession and repentance.

Here is what I have come to embrace: I am a more vile person than anyone knows, and yet I am a more glorious soul than anyone sees, and a more loved person than anyone comprehends.”

We will take his word for that. If Cavey is a genuine believer, and he writes like one, then it’s indisputable that he remains loved by God whatever he may have done. The adultery Cavey concedes is not in itself a legal matter in Canada, but defending a sexual assault charge in today’s court system is a lengthy and painful grind, and one that is unlikely to clear the stain from his public image even if his accusers cannot make a credible case against him. These days an element of doubt will always remain even if a professed victim breaks down in court and cries, “I lied, I lied, I made it all up!” In any case, Cavey’s full confession of adultery is online here. That’s plenty already. Under the Law of Moses, adultery would’ve been a death sentence. In the Christian church it is cause for excommunication, always with a view to eventual restoration should the sinner repent.

Forgiveness, Comfort, Love

This is where Christians will divide on what the future looks like for Bruxy Cavey. On the one hand, there is Paul’s encouragement to the Corinthians to restore a repentant sinner promptly:

“For such a one, this punishment by the majority is enough, so you should rather turn to forgive and comfort him, or he may be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. So I beg you to reaffirm your love for him.”

Forgive. Comfort. Reaffirm your love. Surely these are legitimate ways of expressing Christian solidarity when the prodigal returns to the Father’s house, even a prodigal the world has written off. We worship a God who instructed Peter to forgive an erring brother seventy-seven times or more. There must be a way back to Christian fellowship and to the Lord’s table for the repentant sinner, however long it may take. Moreover, such reinstatement cannot be based solely on the findings of a secular court of law, which may or may not be true. Paul himself says secular courts have “no standing in the church”. These days more than ever, the court system cannot be trusted to deliver an honest verdict. Partisan juries convict the innocent, exonerate the guilty and often muddy the waters beyond cleansing. Somehow, Christians need to arrive at their own verdict about men like Cavey independently and in good conscience before the Lord. I have to confess that how that is best accomplished remains a mystery to me.

Returning to the Ministry

On the other hand, regardless of the outcome of Cavey’s legal woes, and whether or not he ends up serving a prison sentence, the prospect of a self-confessed adulterer engaging in public ministry in association with other Christians is going to leave some believers cold, as I think it probably should. On the subject of returning to the ministry, Cavey writes:

“I am often asked if/when I think I might return to pastoral ministry, and my answer is that I think it is far too early for me to even consider that issue. What I’m doing here I do as a lay person, blogging and hopefully helping others who are also feeling like a coal away from the fire.”

While Cavey doesn’t come out and say he’s interested in having his platform back, he doesn’t rule out the possibility either. That poses a dilemma for anyone seeking to help restore him. Many Christians who are fine with comforting, loving, breaking bread and having ongoing fellowship with a repentant Bruxy Cavey who has paid his dues to society will disagree about what forgiveness looks like for him with respect to the pastoral ministry. I have no doubt he’ll have some unusual stories he could tell from the platform, and there may even be Christians who want to hear them. His use of scripture on the blog is generally sound, though I find him in places a little self-serving in his interpretations of the apostle Paul. The Toronto Star article on Cavey makes him sound like much more of a wild card. If those allegations are true, I can’t see the value of putting a man like Cavey on a church platform anywhere, regardless of his personal magnetism or gifts. In any case, he could urgently use a haircut.

No Magic Wand

But whether Cavey remains potentially useful to a local church as a pastor-teacher is not the point. Forgiveness does not always mean things go back to exactly the way they were. It’s not a magic wand, no matter what some Christians think. There is the testimony of the local church to consider. It is possible to serve Christ in many ways that are not front and center if one is genuinely concerned not to put the corporate testimony at risk. There is also the question of temptation. A man who took advantage of sexual opportunity that came via his perceived position in the church ought not to be blithely returned to the chicken coop, so to speak, on the assumption he’s learned his lesson and everything will be just fine. Maybe he has, but surely even those who love and support him would not want to expose him to temptation of the same sort again, especially when a single future accusation, true or false, could speedily undo any good he might do in an authoritative pastoral role, not to mention land him behind bars for good. Scripture does not advise us that all men, even gifted men, should necessarily be teachers.

Meanwhile, as Cavey awaits his day(s) in court, alternative job prospects are apparently not great. Some readers have difficulty with Cavey’s blog donation button for those who want to support him in ruminating online about what he did wrong and how not to do it again. He explains the button this way:

“I have repeatedly applied for and failed to get a variety of kinds of employment, probably because of the mixture of true and false information about me online.”

The online buzz is probably a major factor in his employability, though it depends what he’s applying for. I’m pretty sure Tyndale University, Messiah College and Fresno Pacific University Biblical Seminary don’t want him to reprise his guest professor gigs from his early years. Having had friends whose only “career” has been full-time Christian ministry, I can attest that finding secular employment after years in the church is tough slogging. It’s one good reason to make tents from time to time in the service of the Lord.

Here Endeth

The lesson for men in Cavey’s former position, preaching to thousands in situations the New Testament never contemplates: Don’t do what he did, and don’t ever put yourself in a position to be accused of it. The Pence Rule … er … rules. Even Bruxy Cavey recognizes that to some degree now.

The lesson for the rest of us: Don’t enable the Bruxy Caveys of Christendom. Nobody needs a ministry that big, star-driven or precarious. Don’t attend their churches, don’t support them financially, definitely don’t idolize them. Paul says God is faithful, and will not test us more than we can bear. He never says it’s impossible for us to test ourselves beyond our limit.