I know two elders, one current and one former, who cared for the people of God for a number of years. Concerning the former elder, I can confirm he was perpetually pleasant and present, often greeting at the door with a warm smile on his face. I was not around when he was asked to serve as an overseer and I cannot comment on his qualifications, but I never heard that he disgraced himself in any way, and he was certainly well liked by many. I was only an occasional visitor in those days, but he never forgot my name.
After a few years, he resigned his responsibilities and his family later left the church under circumstances that were less than fully transparent, but I do not hold that against him either. Sometimes discretion is preferable to full disclosure, especially when it involves the confidences of others.
The other elder is still serving, and he has his share of detractors.
The Second Fellow
I should probably describe this second fellow a bit further. He’s a man of the Word. Reading is a laborious exercise for him, but he loves scripture with a consuming passion. His content from the platform is among the best, most insightful, most painstakingly accurate and Christ-glorifying I’ve ever heard despite the fact that he is neither particularly eloquent nor formally trained in homiletics. In person, he’s a bit awkward, friendly but more than a little guarded, and not what you would call overly possessed of the social graces. I suspect he regards them as rather beside the point. You would certainly never accuse him of putting on airs or courting the good opinions of others.
Over the years, in addition to training several generations of young men to understand and teach scripture, he’s had to be involved in making difficult decisions that didn’t always meet with enthusiastic praise. Many involved relationship breakdowns and errors he would never himself have made in a million years, and dealing with men who succumbed to temptations that would not even occur to him because he would never put himself in the way of them. Some involved solving problems that may have split other churches if they had been allowed to fester indefinitely.
Those who like him really like him, and the vast majority of those who don’t at least respect him.
A Verse Misunderstood
What do you think this verse means? It completes Paul’s list of qualifications for overseers to Timothy:
“Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil.”
I’ve heard it suggested that it means an elder must be nice, or that he must ensure that his manner is thought congenial by the unsaved. If that’s the correct interpretation, the verse above certainly applies to the elder I mentioned who is no longer serving. So far as I know, nobody inside or outside his local church had a bad thing to say about him.
On the other hand, it’s possible there was nothing much to say about him. I never heard him take a difficult or controversial position, never saw him handle a contentious individual or preach a message with any real substance. I’ve heard him called gracious and likable, but never remarkable. I often wondered how he might handle a decision involving necessary church discipline. It struck me he might not be up to the job, though I’ve been wrong about that before.
As an elder, the more unpleasant and difficult situations in which you are visibly involved, the more people who don’t have all the details will question your judgment.
Subjective Impressions Aplenty
If it sounds like I’m giving you a lot of subjective impressions here, I’m doing it deliberately. I’m just telling you what I thought of each man as I observed them fulfilling the responsibilities they had accepted before the Lord. In the one case, I formed an impression based on second-hand reports and several years of occasional meetings; in the other, on many years of friendship. But that’s what “well thought of” means, isn’t it? It’s a subjective impression formed by greater or lesser observations, personal biases, assumptions and predispositions.
It’s a thing none of us can control.
What do people think of me? Well, I try not to waste a lot of time thinking about it. I have observed that when I have tried to be likable and ‘winsome’ (the evangelical’s favorite word these days), I tend to fail rather miserably across the board. When I do what comes naturally, I attract certain types of people and repel others. The ones who find me worth their time are friends for life. The ones who don’t would have to explain to me where I fell short of their expectations, but that rarely happens. It would be nice to be a man who was “well thought of”. I hope I am, but I can’t tell you with certainty, and I wouldn’t know how to go about improving the impression I leave in my wake apart from doing the things my Bible tells me to do with greater consistency and sensitivity to the needs of others.
No-Account Speaking
Generally speaking, how we are “thought of” is not entirely within our control. I have also observed that once a person gets a reputation for this or that negative quality, it is next to impossible to live it down, even if he has long ago made the necessary changes. He will be remembered for what he was rather than what he is.
Is Paul really telling Timothy he may recognize elders by the subjective impressions they leave on the unsaved? Do overseers fail at their job if they can’t do successful “brand management”? Are men of God to make themselves slaves to the perceived opinions of those who may not even really know good from bad?
I’m not thinking that was what the apostle was trying to convey. After all, Paul himself couldn’t even control the impression he left on the Corinthian believers, let alone outsiders, who were often trying to jail or kill him. He writes:
“They say, ‘His letters are weighty and strong, but his bodily presence is weak, and his speech of no account.’ ”
Ouch. Wouldn’t you try to change that impression if you could? I would. Paul didn’t. Earlier, he writes, “But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court.” What his own fellow believers thought of Paul was of small concern to him.
Malicious Characters
Moreover, there were all sorts of malicious characters working away in Paul’s life who would refuse to think well of him even if presented with irrefutable evidence of his rectitude. In the very next chapter, the apostle speaks of one of them:
“Alexander the coppersmith did me great harm; the Lord will repay him according to his deeds.”
Earlier in chapter 1, he writes, “all who are in Asia have turned away from me”. Was Paul letting those optics slip? No, the problem was with those who were ashamed of his chains. Onesiphorus was not. He saw past the bad press.
Sometimes it’s not your lack of winsomeness that’s the problem. There are people who will not think well of you no matter how graciously you treat them personally. There is shame that comes even when you’re doing the right thing.
A Good Report
In Greek, the phrase translated “well thought of” is μαρτυρίαν καλὴν ἔχειν, in the KJV to “have a good report”, which is as literal as possible in English. The word translated “good” invites comparison; it is often translated “better”, implying it has been set side by side with something less acceptable, healthy, attractive or suited to the purpose. Even where it is translated “good”, contrast is often in view. The “good” fruit and “good” tree are in contrast to the corrupt or useless fruit. The “good” soil is that in which the seed can grow: not rock hard, or shallow or sandy. The word translated “report” implies an official witness or testimony. It is not a subjective opinion expressed on a whim or a disgruntled murmur from the cheap seats, but rather a considered evaluation made with one’s own name at stake, as it was when a Jew made false accusations in a public situation: talking about others on the record was a risky business.
I do not think it was Paul’s expectation that the elders in Ephesus or elsewhere learn to make themselves more personally appealing to the pagans around them. What he was looking for, I think, was similar to the challenge the Lord posed to his detractors when he asked, “Which of you convicts me of sin?” It’s not that they didn’t want to charge the Lord with any awful thing they could come up with. It’s not that they balked at lying about him. It’s that in a public forum where everyone knew the attack was political and inspired by jealousy, they knew they could not make a convincing case against him. Their mouths were shut by his track record. Their “good report” was their silence when challenged.
A Thankless Task
Doing the work of an elder is often a thankless task, and I’m grateful for all who value that work and run the entire course without complaint. I’m sure there are times they want to. Good elders always make enemies and inspire the critics to wax eloquent, because they are in a war, right up there on the front lines. They decide between good and evil, better and best ... and sometimes between awful and just plain horrendous, where nobody loves the outcome.
Moreover, there are wicked people in the world, and working confidentially with sinners presents endless opportunities for misunderstandings about intent with both the person you are trying to help and those close to them. Many of these will be unsaved, and you will not be able to charm them with a cheesier grin.
I do not believe Paul expected that of you.
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