“I think we do have needs for human connections that our spouses can’t be expected to
satisfy. That is the joy of same sex friendships. A husband may be willing to
reassure you once that your haircut wasn’t a disaster; your woman friend is
willing to talk about it until you feel okay.”
No, wait, it gets better:
“A non-athletic wife may do her best to care about the point spread for the weekend football game, but her husband might have more enjoyable conversations about it with the guys. When I was married, I enjoyed talking with our male friends, but these conversations typically took place in the presence of their wives as well. A deeply fulfilling conversation in which I feel my emotional or spiritual needs are being met is probably one that I shouldn’t be having with any man I’m not married to. And a conversation that would make my husband or his wife feel uneasy if they heard it is already over the line. I think this highly spiritualized view of human relationships doesn’t take into account the insidious nature of attacks on our fidelity. Very few practicing Christians set out to commit adultery, betray their spouses, and potentially destroy two marriages. Temptation comes in tiny increments, so seemingly harmless that we don’t hear the distant hoof beats of the herald bearing news of disaster. Wanting to have a private chat with Joe because the two of you share the same sense of humor turns into noticing that your own husband is not very funny. You’ve become disloyal long before you become adulterous, and you might not even notice what you’ve done. And if you notice that Joe’s wife is looking worried and you don’t care how she feels, you’re already piling up the sins against charity.
Jill”
Splendid. The little phrase “Very few
practicing Christians set out to commit adultery” is exceptionally astute, and
the line “Temptation comes in tiny increments” should be on a t-shirt.
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