I’m fairly emotionally robust, a product probably of both nature
and nurture. I’d like to think I’m not completely insensitive, but it takes a
fair bit to hurt my feelings, let alone do any kind of serious damage. I can’t
imagine what someone would have to do to me to cause permanent harm to my
worldview, self-image or confidence. (My family may, of course, wish to offer
their own take on any spirit of self-congratulation that sneaks into such a
self-assessment.)
But that’s not true of everyone. It wasn’t even always true
of me. In Grade 5 when I first encountered bullies (or more accurately, they
first encountered me), I was insecure, terrified and conflict-avoidant. Mostly
I was perpetually astonished at the intensity of their venom, which as far as I
could tell was directed my way for no reason at all. I walked miles out of my
way to get home from school without being pummeled silly.
Nowadays, at least in Canada, bullying in school is frowned
upon and a token effort, at bare minimum, is made to manage it. When I was a
teen, there was not much you could do except fight back (if you were able) or
run for the hills. Taking your sad tale to a teacher or principal didn't
accomplish anything positive, something I learned rather quickly.
But even being bullied is merely a manageable annoyance if
you have a good home and a loving family to retreat to.
The really emotionally destructive stuff happens at home. No
stranger or acquaintance can hurt you like a loved one can.