Anonymous Asks (418)

“Is it wrong for a Christian to be an introvert?”

Introversion is one of those terms whose popular usage has become so inconsistent that you really need to agree on a definition before discussing it. I am an introvert by almost any definition, and in my case, it goes well beyond being reserved, quiet and comfortable alone, as some dictionaries have it. I’m also quickly worn down by too much conversation. I have my limits in social situations. I don’t imagine all introverts are socially awkward, but I am often that as well.

Some dictionaries link introversion with being inwardly focused or self-occupied. To me, that’s more a feature of narcissism or solipsism than of introversion.

Introversion may be genetic, or a product of one’s upbringing, or a little bit of both. Either way, it’s only a predisposition. I cannot see how a predisposition can be morally wrong provided it’s managed properly. To me, the question is almost a category error. Introversion is personality, not character, and some experts estimate that roughly 30% of any given population is naturally introverted.

Since We’re Talking About Wrong …

Now, selfishness is morally wrong, of course. (“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.”) The Christian faith is characterized by prioritizing the needs of others, following the example of our Lord, who did not please himself, but “loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God”. If indulged, introversion may be allowed to turn into selfishness, but it need not do so. Having a comfort zone is not a bad thing. Never leaving it is.

Self-occupation is also morally wrong. It’s really a stewardship issue. Whether you think about yourself too highly or too critically, it’s time largely wasted, time that really belongs to the Lord and ought to be spent on more important matters. (The scriptural term for that is “redeeming” it.) Of course, the occasional moment of honest self-assessment is necessary for confessing sin and making appropriate course corrections, but beyond that, constantly taking one’s inner temperature is an unproductive exercise for believers. Introverts may have a greater tendency toward self-occupation but, again, this need not be the case.

Rising to the Challenge

Most introverts can do all the things extroverts do; it’s just more difficult for us. I prefer writing to public speaking by a wide margin, but I will certainly do the latter when the need arises, though I never do it comfortably. I prefer the life of the mind to the flapping of the gums, but because you have to interact with people to know them, love them and help them, I make the effort to be sociable even when it’s uncomfortable. I have a regular routine of social engagement and churchgoing because I believe these things are more important than my personal feelings about them, which are subjective and often deceptive. I often feel a sense of looming dread leaving the house for an appointment, but come back quite pleased with the results of having overcome my natural inclinations.

So, no, I can’t find anything in scripture to suggest that introversion is a moral no-no. What’s wrong is letting introversion dictate what you do and say, allowing your feelings to overrule your conscience and will, or keep you from participating in the good things the Lord has for you to be doing, like exercising your spiritual gift. “It’s just the way I am” should be no part of a Christian’s vocabulary.