In modern English usage, the difference
between jealousy and envy is not clear-cut, as this Merriam-Webster article helpfully points out. In fact, the two terms have become so muddled that three
major language guides from the mid-20th century disagree about their respective
meanings.
For convenience and to avoid making the
confusion worse, I’ll use “jealous” to describe the anticipative emotions
that arise over losing something you have, and “envious” to describe the desire
to possess what belongs to someone else.
But I won’t pretend to have the final word
on the subject.
Jealousy vs. Envy
Within the Christian frame of reference,
jealousy so defined may be either a good or a bad thing: Jehovah is described
in holy writ as a jealous God; in fact, “Jealous” is one of his many names. This being the case, it should be obvious that not all manifestations of
jealousy are attributable to feelings of inferiority, insecurity or wrongful
entitlement. In fact, when something rightfully belonging to you is externally
threatened, jealousy may be a wholly appropriate emotion. The problem with
jealousy is when it arises in circumstances where no such entitlement exists,
and we cling to things that do not really belong to us.
On the other hand, viewed from the perspective of a faith that requires believers to be content with what we have, envy is quite a bit more difficult to rationalize.
Driven to Do Terrible Things
There are many instances in the Bible of
people driven to do terrible things by their desire for what they didn’t have:
I think of the chief priests and elders as they brought Jesus before Pilate to
accuse him. Pilate knew that “it was out of envy that they had delivered him up”. They lacked the Lord’s popularity, authority
and power, and it drove them batty.
Joseph’s brothers are another example,
turned to evil by their inability to deal with their father’s lavish love for
their brother and the prophecies of his future success.
The Self-Consuming Nature of Obsession
But if there is a more instructive and
spot-on portrayal in all of scripture of the self-consuming nature of obsession
than King Saul’s turbulent emotions toward David, whom God had designated his
successor to the throne of Israel, I can’t think of it.
I would suggest Saul’s feelings tended more
toward envy than jealousy, notwithstanding the text of some English versions of
the Old Testament and, in fact, the not-inspired headings translators have
inserted into my ESV. Why? Because the kingdom of Israel did not belong to Saul,
and God had explicitly declared that it was to be taken away from him and from his household. Saul was nothing more than a historical placeholder
until such time as God would bring his replacement to the throne. He had been
told it, he knew it, and he refused to accept it.
Heart Cancer
During his time in Saul’s household and army, David seems largely oblivious to the fact that every move the king makes has something
to do with him — that is, until Saul’s spear is flying through the air in
his direction. This seems characteristic of envy: it does way more damage to
the envious than it does to the one envied. From a Christian perspective, this is
frequently true even when murder results from it: Abel suffered for mere
moments before moving on to a blessed eternity. Cain said, “My punishment is greater than I can bear.”
Envy is heart cancer, and self-inflicted cancer to boot.
A Rivalry That Wasn’t
This Saul/David dynamic was no ordinary contest
between rivals to a throne, primarily because David was not engaged in a
contest. Contrast that with the relationship between Hannah and Peninnah, the
two wives of Elkanah. Hannah was envious of Peninnah’s ability to conceive, a
situation aggravated by Peninnah’s constant provocation of Hannah. While envy had led Hannah to view her rival as an enemy, David was burdened by no such concern. He
was able to go about doing God’s will without even thinking about Saul until
Saul forced the issue.
The Obliteration of Joy
Envy manifests in the inability to
appreciate the things we do have. Saul’s obsession with David was triggered by
the joyful song of the women in the streets, “Saul has struck down his
thousands, and David his ten thousands.” Now admittedly being king is a bit of
a zero-sum game: there can only be one at a time. One guy’s loss is the other
guy’s gain. But Saul was not in that position yet. He was appreciated by his
people: “Saul has slain his thousands.” Thanks, Saul.
But all Saul could see was that thousands are
way less than ten thousands. His joy in the successes God had given him was entirely
eclipsed by his insistence on remaining number one.
The Annihilation of Other Relationships
I’m quite sure Saul’s daughter Michal loved
her dad, at least some of the time. Most daughters do. But again, Saul’s enjoyment
of his relationship with his child was ruined by his fixation:
“When Saul saw … that Michal, Saul’s daughter, loved him, Saul was even more afraid of David. So Saul was David’s enemy continually.”
Such is the nature of envy. Saul had no
capacity to enjoy the fact that his daughter had love in her life. He could not be happy for her. Her love for
David became a source of fear and resentment in her father’s heart instead.
Projection and Fantasy
Envy also projects. When Saul saw that David
had great success, scripture says, “He stood in fearful awe of him.” Saul’s fear was baseless. David had no designs on the kingdom. Even later, when on the run from Saul’s murderous rages and with Saul at his mercy, David tells his
men, “Do not destroy him, for who can put out his hand against the Lord’s
anointed and be guiltless?” David was rightly more concerned about the condition of his own spirit than even his safety. There was no danger from this loyal servant.
But could Saul see this and feel safe, let
alone appreciate David’s stellar character? Not a chance. Why? Because if the
tables were turned, he would have happily murdered David himself. The evil in
Saul’s heart convinced him that his rival would behave the same way he would if
given half a chance.
What an unpleasant way to live. And it was
all in his head.
A Welcome Dose of Perspective
When I was in my early twenties, I spent a week helping out
at a Christian camp ... and so did my tall, handsome cousin. It was a nice gesture on his part to come along, but I found myself
quickly gritting my teeth every time he was around. Why? I’m almost ashamed to
admit it: The previous summer when I had served at the same camp on my own, I had gotten a fair bit of
attention from the girls working in the kitchen, something that at that age
didn’t bother me a bit. This summer I couldn’t help but notice that all eyes
were riveted on my cousin.
Guess what that led to?
My annoyance must have been written all
over my face, though I didn’t say a word about my feelings to anyone. But I’ll
always remember the camp director slipping up beside me while my cousin was holding
court for a group of fawning admirers, and quietly saying to me, “Don’t resent
him. He has temptations you and I will never face.”
That was about as well-put a one-liner as I’ve ever been zinged with. My envy vanished in an instant, not just because
I was embarrassed to be caught fuming, but because his words entirely changed
my perspective.
For those of us tempted to envy others, that’s exactly what we need.
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