Understandable, I think. I don’t know all the details, but it seems the speaker has been quite
horribly mistreated and cannot bring himself to feel forgiving toward the
person who has hurt him so badly. He simply can’t let it go.
More significant is
the young man’s concern for his own soul, since he has read the very words of
the Lord Jesus himself and has concluded that if he cannot feel forgiveness
toward this individual who has had such a negative effect on his life, then he
cannot be saved.
And “forgive or die” is a pretty scary ultimatum to face when your feelings won’t play along with what your Christian friends are telling you is the right thing to do.